Can someone explain this to me?

October 6, 2008

I got slapped in the face this weekend.

Not literally of course, but metaphorically.

Whenever I go home my brother usually gives me some of his old clothes.  Usually shirts, ties, or pants.  But on Sunday October 5th, at 9:29 am, he laid down a huge one.  It was like he took a whole bunch of puppies and kicked them in the face.  A flying kick to an elderly woman’s stomach.  A judo chop to a grown man’s crotch.  It was epic.

He gave me pants with a button fly.

I know what you’re probably scream in your head right now, “A BUTTON FLY!??!  WHO WEARS PANTS WITH A BUTTON FLY??????”.  Of course, that’s exactly what I thought when I woke up with these pants laying next to me.  I almost cried when I inspected the pants only to find three round brass buttons staring right back at me where my crotch should be.

I don’t understand why this type of crotch flap exist.  It’s a lot more inconvenient for me to whip my junk out.  It totally messes with the bathroom zen that I’ve come to attain when using the urinal.  What is usually “Zip-Pee-Zip” has now become, “Unbuckle-fumblefumblefumblefumble-pee-fumblefumblefumblefumble-Buckle”.

Although, I have to admit that these pants do look pretty good.  Now that I’m examining my crotch, it looks a lot nicer than it would with a zipper.  It just lays flatter.  The color of the jeans are exactly what I like.  They are almost becoming my new favorite pair of jeans.

I just wish my fly would stop being such a big cockblock.


I never knew girls can play guitar!

September 27, 2008

And by guitar I mean Guitar Hero.

In the Video Gaming world, third party peripherals are  necessary evil.  There are the freakin’ sweet ones that definitely the whole gaming experience but then there are the really stupid ones that no one should have in their house for everyone to see.

Recently I came across the king of all ridiculous third party peripherals.  It was so cool and so well thought it, I think I might buy it.  Of course, I wouldn’t be using it though.  Oh no, this baby is to be used the lady of the house.  No longer does your female friend or Significant other have to feel left out while you rock out to Guitar Hero or Rock Band.  Now she can join you in your quest to be a virtual rock star.  And do it in style.

They almost look real.

[via Engadget]

Pokemon Battle Pt. 1

September 25, 2008

Today was an especially dark and dreary day in Pallet town. Nurse Fiona is stuck in the Pokemon Center left with nothing to do. Of course she has nothing to do because Pallet town has become a very boring place once Pokemon Trainer Merv left.

“I hope he goes out there and catches them all. He was all about that.” said Nurse Fiona as she sits at the counter playing with her Chansey.

She’s about to doze off when suddenly she hears the sound of the entrance doors sliding open. In a very autonomous response she beings to ask ‘How may I…’ until she realizes who it is.

Pokemon Trainer Merv takes a cool step into the Pokemon Center. He closes his eyes and takes in the atmosphere taken aback by all the nostalgia. The sound of 8-bit music fills his ears as he opens his eyes and smiles at Nurse Fiona.

Nervously, Nurse Fiona finishes her greeting “H-How may I help you?”.

“I’m just here to use the PC,” Pokemon Trainer Merv responds in a very non chalant manner.

As he cooly walks over to the PC, Nurse Fiona takes notice to the shiny badges that Trainer Merv has proudly displayed on his vest and his belt which was neatly lined with six pokeballs.

“Wow, six out of the eight gym badges. He must be really good.” Nurse Fiona thought to herself.

As Trainer Merv finishes up with some pokemon transfers, he begins to cooly walk back toward the entrance to leave.

Nurse Fiona begins to autonomously say goodbye, “Thank you! Come back…” before she is interrupted by another Pokemon Trainer coming in as Trainer Merv is leaving.

Trainer Merv stops dead in his tracks and is as equally stunned by the new Trainer who has just walked in. This Trainer walks just as cooly as Trainer Merv over to the Pokemon Center counter and places his pokeballs into the healing tray.

“I see you’ve been busy Merv. It’s nice to see you again,” says the trainer.

Trainer Merv responds, “I see you have been too, BUG CATCHER KYLE!!”

Announcer: “A strange twist has just occurred!!! Just as Pokemon Trainer Merv is leaving his home town Pokemon Center, Bug Catcher Kyle enters!!! Who is this Mysterious trainer?? How does he know Pokemon Trainer Merv?? Answers will come and Pokemon Battles will happen!!!! NEXT WEEK!!!

Drunken Meditation Doesn’t Work.

September 13, 2008

So apparently my current thing is to write a totally random blog post when I’m drunk. Actually, it’s random drunken post when I’m angry and drunk. But I try not to show my anger because that would just make reading this lame. My emotions aren’t for everyone else to know.

But anyways.

I use to meditate a lot back in freshman year. Freshman year was also a tough time for me and meditation help me controll a lot of things. So the combination of angry drunkenness and meditation don’t mix.

I believe that when people think of meditation they think of spiritual enlightenment and general lameness when someone other than a monk is doing it. To me, meditation is a moment of calm. A moment of reflection. A moment when I don’t have to think about everything else that is going on in my life. It’s actually a really wonderful feeling. It’s a state of total relaxation with your mind totally open. It feels like my senses are heightened but the outside world is completely dull. A strange balance between total awareness with a sense of disconnection.

The combination of intoxication and meditation don’t mix though.

That whole feeling of worldless-ness and combined with my lack of balance. Everything just combines and tears each other apart. The moment of relaxation and happiness is ripped apart by the ridiculous-ness of alcohol. You realize all your greatest weakness and all of your greatest faults. The moment of solitude and reflection becomes a moment of realization and anger.

You’re supposed to learn from your mistakes. Your mistakes don’t always affect outwardly and toward your surroundings. I haven’t learned from my mistakes yet. Maybe it’ll all hit me after all my mistakes are done. I’ll probably have a huge moment of “Oh shit” ness and I’ll realize everything.

Now that I think about it. That moment will probably come with my hang over.

I am another drunken post.

September 6, 2008

It’s been a long time since I last posted anything that is worth while. I played with the idea of a “Links of the week” post every week because I’m so lazy and I think I might do that. I’ve been too busy to consider anything though.

So tonight, in my drunken stupor, I’ve decided to define Life. At least what I consider life. I considered certain aspects of life but maybe that’s not right. Maybe it should be categorized as stages.

The young stage. The fucking rebel stage. The “I think I found what I really am” in high school stage. The “Oh shit, this is what I really am” in college stage. The “Lets party all the time cause It’s fucking cool” stage. Then maybe the stage where everyone else parties while you sit back and be anti social stage.

I think I’m at that last stage.

But from that last stage comes random blog post and random stuff at a totally random time.

And from that comes the realization that everyone is one way or another put into a cookie cutter sheet and comes out the exact same way.

People try so hard to distinguish themselves from other people but in reality EVERYONE IS EXACTLY THE SAME.

Maybe I’m just saying that cause I’m in the bitter anti social stage. Then again I’m only in this bitter anti social stage because I’m jealous of everyone else and how I’m not getting anywhere.

Oh wait. That’s depression.

Of course with my super POSI attitude that I apparently have allll the time, this doesn’t affect me. I have no depression because that’s the way life is. This happen for a reason and this is why it’s happening to me. Any attempts that happen end in failure but those failures mean nothing. Because that’s the way things are supposed to happen.

Things will fall into place for me and I won’t have to worry about anything. Although this may seem like a large amount of sarcasm, this is actually what I believe in. Surprisingly I could be pushed around by people and stepped all over but I think that things will right themselves and I’ll be just fine.

Life isn’t worth anything without emotional and physcial struggle.

And now my rant comes to an end. I realized what I have just done, which involved writing about ridiculous things that doesn’t matter to anyone else except me. I’ll read back on this and think that I shouldn’t have written this but I’ll keep it because it’s part of my life. This snapshot of my life will be open for anyone on the massive amounts of tubes called the internet can see instead of my little black notebook that no one has seen.

I am Slowing Down.

August 21, 2008

I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about it on this blog but I’ve always enjoyed and promoted the idea of slowing down your life and taking it all in. I try to do this myself but it’s something hard to do especially with the way American culture is.

This video is a talk by journalist Carl Honore who believes that the speed that we crave in our culture is shortening our lives. Eating slower would be healthier, working slower would produce better work, having sex slower would provide a better orgasm. This talk is definitely something worth watching.


I am updating after a long time

August 12, 2008

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted anything. I’ve come across a bunch of articles that I wanted to talk about but just never got around to writing anything about it. Mostly because I’ve been busy lately but that really is just an excuse for my laziness. Maybe I’ll start a “links of the week” post.

Anyways, what sparked my motivation to finally write a post was this article from NYTimes.

Almost everyone has heard the news of the NYC Critical Mass violence. Almost everyone have been a part of or seen bicycle violence. It’s ridiculous but even I have had my fair share of tussles with drivers in Philadelphia. I actually hate all of the drivers in Philadelphia, myself included. But as the article pointed out, drivers are only learning to cope with the increase in bikers. It’s something new and they don’t know how to handle themselves. The same could also be said about the bikers. Many of them are inexperienced when it comes to city biking.

Hopefully bikers and motorist will be able to co-exist soon. I’m sick almost getting hit.