I never knew girls can play guitar!

And by guitar I mean Guitar Hero.

In the Video Gaming world, third party peripherals are  necessary evil.  There are the freakin’ sweet ones that definitely the whole gaming experience but then there are the really stupid ones that no one should have in their house for everyone to see.

Recently I came across the king of all ridiculous third party peripherals.  It was so cool and so well thought it, I think I might buy it.  Of course, I wouldn’t be using it though.  Oh no, this baby is to be used the lady of the house.  No longer does your female friend or Significant other have to feel left out while you rock out to Guitar Hero or Rock Band.  Now she can join you in your quest to be a virtual rock star.  And do it in style.

They almost look real.

[via Engadget]

Pokemon Battle Pt. 1

Today was an especially dark and dreary day in Pallet town. Nurse Fiona is stuck in the Pokemon Center left with nothing to do. Of course she has nothing to do because Pallet town has become a very boring place once Pokemon Trainer Merv left.

“I hope he goes out there and catches them all. He was all about that.” said Nurse Fiona as she sits at the counter playing with her Chansey.

She’s about to doze off when suddenly she hears the sound of the entrance doors sliding open. In a very autonomous response she beings to ask ‘How may I…’ until she realizes who it is.

Pokemon Trainer Merv takes a cool step into the Pokemon Center. He closes his eyes and takes in the atmosphere taken aback by all the nostalgia. The sound of 8-bit music fills his ears as he opens his eyes and smiles at Nurse Fiona.

Nervously, Nurse Fiona finishes her greeting “H-How may I help you?”.

“I’m just here to use the PC,” Pokemon Trainer Merv responds in a very non chalant manner.

As he cooly walks over to the PC, Nurse Fiona takes notice to the shiny badges that Trainer Merv has proudly displayed on his vest and his belt which was neatly lined with six pokeballs.

“Wow, six out of the eight gym badges. He must be really good.” Nurse Fiona thought to herself.

As Trainer Merv finishes up with some pokemon transfers, he begins to cooly walk back toward the entrance to leave.

Nurse Fiona begins to autonomously say goodbye, “Thank you! Come back…” before she is interrupted by another Pokemon Trainer coming in as Trainer Merv is leaving.

Trainer Merv stops dead in his tracks and is as equally stunned by the new Trainer who has just walked in. This Trainer walks just as cooly as Trainer Merv over to the Pokemon Center counter and places his pokeballs into the healing tray.

“I see you’ve been busy Merv. It’s nice to see you again,” says the trainer.

Trainer Merv responds, “I see you have been too, BUG CATCHER KYLE!!”

Announcer: “A strange twist has just occurred!!! Just as Pokemon Trainer Merv is leaving his home town Pokemon Center, Bug Catcher Kyle enters!!! Who is this Mysterious trainer?? How does he know Pokemon Trainer Merv?? Answers will come and Pokemon Battles will happen!!!! NEXT WEEK!!!

I am tired of all of this

I’ll do it myself.

Real post coming tomorrow.

I am a real fictitious person

There’s a new micro blogging personality on Twitter.

Her name….

Liz Kantner in real life.

I am a Bad Omen

You know the day won’t be a good day when the first thing you put on are your socks.

Something is definitely on your mind if skip the rest of your clothes and go straight to your socks when you’re getting dressed.

I am a shitty metaphor

You know, somedays I like to think of my life like riding a fixed gear up a mountain.

Sometimes I just fly up that hill.

Other days, I just don’t feel like pushing anymore.

That was lame.

I am the sound of a Dive into water

The final days of co-op are quickly approaching.

That statement is true but I feel like I have so much work today I’ll still be here for another 6 months.

Regardless, I feel compelled to share this article that I have come across about a certain topic that many of us don’t mention in our daily lives. Actually, that’s not true if you’re a man and you just took a HUGE one. I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now.

That’s right.

Poo.

I’ll let the article speak for it self, but first, I’ll give a small excerpt that I found rather “moving”. (see how I made that into a funny?)

“You want to hear what the stool, the poop, sounds like when it hits the water,” Oz instructs. “If it sounds like a bombardier, you know, ‘plop, plop, plop,’ that’s not right because it means you’re constipated. It means the food is too hard by the time it comes out. It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water.” Oz makes a “swoosh” sound — the sound of an Olympian excrement champion.

Poo and your Health

p.s. I hate it when writers put stupid witty jokes relating to the topic in their writing.

I am a Feverish Dream

Of all the common sickness, the fever is probably my most hated sickness. Colds stuff you up and just generally sap all your energy but fevers mess with your head on top of the physical exhaustion.

One of the worst things about a fever is trying to sleep. You’re just laying there and tossing turning and then you think, “This fever sucks.” After getting to sleep, you have to deal with all those trippy dreams you have when you have a fever.

Although I don’t really remember what I was dreaming about, I do remember dreaming about old TV shows I use to watch and somehow interacting with them.

For example,

I’m not sure how he was in my dream, but that damn cute dog was there.

Actually, he was probably fighting these guys.

Go go Power rangers!

I am a moment of calm.

This was posted in another blog as well!

The morning commute is, for many people, sometimes worse than actual work itself. You got slow moving traffic, fast moving traffic, people that drive like crazy, big ass trucks, and overall SUCK. Commuting by car is probably one the of things I hate the most in life. It’s rarely enjoyable.

Today was an exception. Traffic was generally not crowded and it all went by quickly (which could be a good or a bad thing depending on your outlook on life). I even experienced a moment that I decided to call “Traffic Zen”.

It was that one moment of peace that you find in a chaotic event. The “Eye of the storm” if you will. All the cars were moving at a comfortable speed, evenly spaced out, and the sun was rising. For me, it was just a moment of clarity in such a monotonous task. It made me smile a bit and then I wanted to write about it.

When was the last time you had a moment of “Traffic Zen”?

Personal Life Update!!

Frustration is an emotion I feel almost everyday. It comes and goes but sometimes there are just somethings that just sit there and taunt you. For me, that very thing is the front wheel of my bike.

The front wheel of my bike was possibly the most beautiful feature of Prudence. I would sit there and look at my bike and think, “Damn! You look so damn good with those nice, long deep-V’s.” A sexy Mavic CXP 33 deep-V rim laced to shiny Suze hubs. I mean, Prudence’s front wheel is comparable to piercing green eyes of a beautiful woman, the nice fine curves of a beautiful woman, or just Scarlett Johansson, such a beautiful woman.

The frustration comes from the fact that this beautiful front wheel was destroyed in my recent run in (pun intended) with a car. Bent in half and unrepairable, I was left to weep as I cradled my bike in my arms. The frustration continued when I tried to slide the mangled front wheel out of the fork. I struggled slightly but decided to leave it for another day.

But last night, I had success! In an odd surge of energy last night around 11 pm, I decided that tonight was the night. I’m going to slide that rabbit out of its rabbit hole. I even brought the hammer out in preparation for some “tough love”. In the end, I didn’t need to use the hammer but just had to buckle down and spread the forks a little bit. I did end up with a nice little mark when the whole frame come up and smacked me in the shoulder. But alas! She was out and I went to bed with a victory under my belt.

I am feeling Lame

The past couple days I’ve been feeling kinda lame. Like the “Man, I’m really bored but I have nothing to do and no one to hang out with” kind of lame. Maybe it’s because of co-op stressing me out. Or maybe it’s because of my lack of exercise since Prudence (my bike) is severely injured.

Actually, I think it’s because of this guy.

At age 59, Richard Simmons is still a large fuzzy ball of energy.